Haunted

Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart
of its constant hunger for
whatever it is it wants the way it stops.... and starts.


Honjou Kamatari smiled and half-nervously straightened the kimono across his thighs before entering the great hall. As one of the ten swords, he'd been summoned by Shishio, and truthfully, he was quite excited. He had not seen his leader in quite a while, and thinking of Shishio brought a new wave of butterflies to flit about the inside of his belly.

Maybe this time, he would have a chance at Shishio's heart.

Bullshit. Yumi has Shishio's heart, and I'm just some weird kid in the way. If I was smart, I'd have figured that out by now.

Troubled by his thoughts, the young scythe-master found a spot in the hall, leaning back against the cool wall as he searched his memory. Seta Soujiro, the tenken had been the one to tell him of the meeting, earlier in the week.

Thinking about the encounter, he couldn't help but smile.



It was a gorgeous evening. The sun had just begun to dip beneath the horizon, and the wind had started blowing, gently swirling the fallen leaves, catching a few errant sakura petals and pulling them from the line of trees he stood between.

Slightly to the left of him and behind, Soujiro watched a petal skitter through the air, lifting his hand in an almost-childlike manner to catch it. "Shishio is gathering the Ten Swords, Kamatari." His soft voice carried such an intensity, that he could not have been louder had he yelled.

Something about the young messenger struck Kamatari as utterly profound. Maybe it was the mysterious shadow hidden within the darkness of his eyes and eternal smile; maybe it was the way he seemed forever preserved, halfway between child and man. Either way, Kamatari found himself staring.

Soujiro watched as the sakura petal lifted from his hand, blowing away in the breeze. He'd felt the pink-haired boy's eyes on him for quite a while, but he'd said nothing. There really was nothing to say. Instead, he glanced up, his eyes catching Kamatari's, and calmly looked back.

For an entire minute, they stared at each other, neither daring to break the near-silence that had descended on them. The only sound was the low whistle of the wind through the sakura trees. Then, Soujiro smiled, a true smile; Kamatari was breathless, struck by the other boy's beauty.

"Soujiro..." Kamatari murmured almost inaudibly, and the other lifted his head slightly in answer, arching a dark, slender brow. The whole thing seemed almost surrealistic, with the sakura and wind and the sensation of almost spinning. He knew he was blushing as he pushed back a few strands of renegade hair, his eyes still focused on Soujiro with a wondering intensity.

Soujiro hadn't moved at all in the last few minutes: calm, passive, and complacent, just as always. And that smile...

Kamatari had no idea he had moved until he realized he was just inches from Soujiro's smiling face.

"I'll see you there?" The dark-haired boy's voice was so soft, and his breath was warm on Kamatari's face. Kamatari nodded once, and Soujiro smiled wider.

Then he kissed him. A gentle brush of his lips against Soujiro's, before he truly realized what he was doing. Soujiro was frozen in place, his eyes gone wide at Kamatari's surprising gesture. He'd definitely not been expecting that, and from the look on the pink-haired boy's face, neither had Kamatari.

Kamatari, in an effort to regain his composure, blinked a few times at Soujiro, then bowed hastily. "I'll be there, Soujiro-kun, but I have to go, now. Until then!" With that said, he turned and fled back towards the comfort of his home.



He looked up, just in time to see everyone straighten up, standing in wait for their revered leader. Reminds me of some weird military meeting. He merely lifted his head, looking towards the door.

Shishio entered the hall, walking at a slow pace, Yumi clinging to his arm as tightly as the bandages did. Kamatari couldn't help but roll his eyes at her persistence, but still felt his throat constrict at the sight. Obviously, Shishio had accepted her companionship.

His eyes widened; not that he was surprised, but he was excited to see Soujiro who followed after Shishio obediently, obviously trying to ignore Usui's talking. Truthfully, Kamatari couldn't blame the boy, after all, Usui made it quite obvious that he wanted to kill Shishio, and that was decidedly not a way to make friends in the group. Kamatari really hated the guy.

Soujiro saw Kamatari almost immediately, and smiled brightly, waving at him. "Oi! Kamatari!"

Kamatari nearly dropped to his knees in relief. Obviously, Soujiro was still going to speak with him, considering their last encounter. "Souji! It's been so long!" He forced his tone to remain the same as he nodded a greeting to Yumi. "Yumi-san...it's good to see you."

The dark-haired woman cast a glance at Kamatari, her hold on Shishio's arm tightening fractionally. Marking your territory, aren't you, Yumi? Are you really that threatened by my presence? "Yeah..." she sighed, returning her attention to Shishio.

Two-yen bitch. You're not good enough for Shishio by far.

He still had a front to show, though, so he put on his biggest, most winning smile. "This time we can see who will win Shishio-sama's heart." But you know, just like I do, that you've already won. It was beginning not to hurt so much.

Yumi caught his last comment, and turned her head sharply to half-glare at him. "Right. Well, I'm certainly not losing to some cross-dressing scythe boy."

Kamatari just smiled at her, before his eyes flickered over to Soujiro. The young boy was standing patiently to the side, just waiting. Kamatari took the time to study Soujiro more closely, noting everything about him, from the way he seemed to fidget during the long periods of inactivity (adorable, Kamatari thought) to the western-style shirt he wore beneath his blue gi.

He mentally smacked himself for allowing his mind to go in that direction. He was in the same room with Shishio, paying more attention to Soujiro; something about it just felt strange. Ah, well, he figured, not like anyone's going into my head anytime soon. Kamatari imagined Soujiro would look even better without clothing.

Kamatari allowed himself to indulge in some nameless personal fantasy, only this time substituting Soujiro for Shishio. A small part of him felt guilty for 'betraying' Shishio, but the rest of him realized that he could chase his leader for the rest of his life and get the same result, which was absolutely nothing.

He barely noticed when Usui came to stand next to him. "What's wrong, kid?" he teased quietly, his grin wicked and knowing. "Thinking about Shishio -- am I right?"

The boy's eyes widened, and he fought the urge to punch the blind swordsman, his face flaming with embarrassment. "No!" He hissed, with more enthusiasm than he'd intended.

Usui chuckled, raising his hand to fend off any ill will he may have created. "Sorry. I guess you're over him, huh?" The older man's smile became decidedly more wicked. "Got plans for Soujiro instead, right?"

Kamatari stared at Usui in shock, listening to the man's coarse laughter. "Oh-ho...so I am right!" He laughed more, before clapping the younger boy on the back. "Well, I hope you have better luck with this one."

With that, he moved away, heading towards Anji. Kamatari sighed in relief, shifting the weight of his scythe from one side to the other; the damn thing was getting heavy. He hoped Shishio would say what he had to, because he still had to find his place to stay for the time being, and he wanted to get out of here. There were too many things stirring too many emotions in this room.

He looked up to see Soujiro walking towards him, and forced a bright smile to mirror the other boy's own. "Hey, Souji..."

"Kamatari." Soujiro grinned at him, then held out his hand. "Do you want me to take that for you? You'll be staying with me for the time being."

Kamatari blinked, first at the slender hand extended to him, then at the words. Gods help me. "Huh?" He shook his head, as if to clear away a stupor.

Soujiro merely indicated towards the scythe. "We have some time before the meeting starts. Do you want to put your things in the room?"

"Oh." Kamatari sighed quietly, allowing the forced expression to drop from his face. "Ah, sure. Thank you." He handed the heavy scythe to Soujiro, who held it with little difficulty, leading the way towards a door near the corner of the hall.

"Kamatari-san?" Soujiro said quietly, once they were away from the noisy atmosphere of the crowded room on the other side of the door. The hall they were in now was almost labyrinthine, stretching out as far as Kamatari could see, which wasn't very far considering the only light came from a torch-like structure near the wall. There were doors on either side of the passage, and Soujiro began to walk towards the darkness at one end.

"Yeah?" Kamatari sniffed, ignoring the slightly musty odor of the place. Being deep within the ground, the dampness wasn't unexpected, but it was rather uncomfortably chilly. Burying his hands in the kimono's sleeves, he sped up to catch Soujiro.

Soujiro turned slightly to regard Kamatari for a moment, then looked away. "Why are you so unhappy-looking?"

Well, no beating around the bush for you, huh? "I'm just feeling down lately; it's nothing, really. Once the fighting starts I should be fine."

The other boy nodded, then opened a door on the right. "Here we are." He held it while Kamatari entered, placing the scythe to the side. He had trouble phrasing his next words; he thought he knew what it was, but he wasn't very good with social things, and he didn't want to offend his friend. He watched Kamatari until he was done, then looked up. "It's Shishio, isn't it?"

Kamatari froze. So, even Soujiro... "I don't know, maybe a little. I try not to think about it."

Soujiro offered a smile to his pink-haired companion, then stepped out of the room. "Don't frown, Kamatari-san. Your smile looks much better on you." Kamatari couldn't help but do as he was asked, and he followed Soujiro back down the hallway, still trying to make sense of the wild feelings that were swirling around inside him.

Shishio was just beginning to address the crowd when Kamatari and Soujiro slipped through the side door, joining the rest of the group. Both of them held Shishio's words very close to their hearts, and in that, they shared yet another bond. Kamatari found him pondering this, paying more attention to that than Shishio's speech. Soujiro had moved through the crowd, slowly making his way to the shadows close behind Shishio, where he generally stayed; but Kamatari could see him perfectly, and he watched him for the entire meeting.

This was most definitely not lost on Yumi, who smiled to think that perhaps the young cross-dresser was finally going to get over the fact that Shishio was hers. And slowly, a plan started to develop in her devious mind, one that would make sure things stayed that way.



"Soujiro, would you please come over here for a moment?" Yumi's voice was quiet, looking towards the shadows that partially hid the young tenken's face. She smiled at him, then cast one more glance out towards the crowd. Kamatari really hadn't moved, and Yumi supposed that he was lost in thought.

"What is it, Yumi-san?" Soujiro's head tilted to the side, that ever-present smile lighting up his face.

Yumi thought for a moment, coalescing her words. "Soujiro, I'm worried about Kamatari." The tenken nodded, indicating that he shared the same feeling. "I was wondering if maybe you couldn't help him."

"Me? How?" Soujiro asked, his tone turning slightly incredulous.

"Well..." Yumi began, "I don't really know how to say it." Just keep him away from Shishio. "Kamatari-san needs companionship, and I think you can help him with that. He loves Shishio, as you know, and is quite depressed knowing that his quest is impossible. I think you could help him get over it, if you know what I mean." Her reassuring smile radiated concern for the scythe-wielder, and Soujiro nodded.

"I knew he felt bad about that, but..." Soujiro`s smile lost some of its energy, his eyes taking on a slightly harder look which Yumi took to be determination. "I'll do my best, Yumi." With that, his eternally cheerful expression came back, and he bowed once before turning to go.

Shishio came up just behind Yumi, chuckling at the entire ordeal. "Are you that worried about Kamatari's quest?" He asked lowly, eyes sparkling with amusement.

Yumi rolled her eyes. "Not really. I'm just covering all my ground." Her smile turned half-seductive, half-innocent. "I know you love me most."

"Of course," Shishio murmured, and Yumi leaned forward, kissing his lips very gently.



Kamatari watched Yumi talk to Soujiro, feeling rather depressed. The last few days had been hell; he'd started his journey to this place almost immediately after the young messenger had left (how Soujiro had contacted the other swords and beat him here, he could only attribute to the boy's godspeed), and things just hadn't been going his way. He hoped to the gods that things would start looking up. Soujiro had told him, in fewer words, not to be so damn gloomy.

But things did get worse, and very quickly. He watched from his little corner while Yumi kissed Shishio, and that was it. He had to get out, now. With a low growl, he pushed his way through the door that led him to his and Soujiro's room.

By the time he'd reached the door to their room, his anger had dissolved into frustrated tears, leaving him feeling sick and empty inside. He understood that Shishio was beyond his reach, but still, still, to see Shishio and Yumi's bond solidified in front of him...it wasn't fair. And now he couldn't help but feel confused over his feelings about Soujiro.

Kamatari opened the door and ducked through, collapsing against it on the other side. Burying his head in his arms, he sobbed alone in the dark, feeling very lost and lonely. Everything seemed to be going wrong, and there wasn't really anything he could do about it.

For quite a few minutes, he hunched there, trying to get rid of his outburst; it was all he needed, for someone to come in and see him like this. Especially Soujiro, though the other boy probably wouldn't think anything of it. Sometimes, Kamatari wondered if Soujiro had any emotions at all. That smile was entirely false...but he wasn't sure.



Soujiro had been sitting alone in the pitch dark, taking comfort in the silence of the stone-walled room, resting comfortably on his bed. He was thinking over what Yumi had asked of him, and what exactly that meant. He supposed she didn't realize he was concerned for Kamatari anyway, considering the pink-haired boy was the closest thing to a friend he'd ever had.

And then Kamatari had burst through the door, not even noticing Soujiro sitting on the other side of the room. Soujiro really couldn't see that well in the darkness, but he knew something was wrong--this was confirmed by the sound of Kamatari's soft sobs.

For a moment, Soujiro's smile lessened in intensity and if he could have become angry, he would have. Yumi must have said something. Soujiro didn't like that very much; personally, he thought Yumi got a bit too much enjoyment from her subtle assaults on the poor Kamatari. But women were cattish and disposed to be like that, another reason why he didn't like them in general.

He wondered if he should alert Kamatari to his presence. Yumi had asked him to take care of him, and this certainly seemed to fall within those boundaries. But it wouldn't be because of Yumi's request He realized that Yumi didn`t care anything for the other boy.

Soujiro would come to Kamatari, but only because he wanted to. Because he wanted Kamatari to feel better.


Kamatari's head jerked up, hearing the faint rustle of clothing on the other side of the room. Oh, gods. Quickly, he tried to brush the tears from his face, knowing that he looked absolutely horrible. It had to be Soujiro, who else would be here?

As if to assure him, a small flame broke through the darkness; Soujiro lit a small lamp, his expression one of great concentration as the light flickered and danced across his face. Kamatari was fascinated by the picture, and forgot his pain momentarily, simply staring at the beautiful boy across the room from him.

Soujiro looked up. His smile widened as he regarded Kamatari calmly. "Are you alright, Kamatari?"

Kamatari shrugged, sniffling once. "I'm - I'm fine, Souji. Thanks for asking." He gave the other boy a smile, hoping that Soujiro would buy his ploy. In one fluid motion, Soujiro stood, making his way over to Kamatari.

He held out his hand to the pink-haired boy. "You just look so depressed anymore. You should be smiling."

Like you? Kamatari thought, looking at the proffered hand. "I'm sorry, Souji. It's just been a hellish last few days."

"I understand," Soujiro replied quietly. "Can I help you?'

Kamatari blinked, watching as Soujiro bent down, taking one of his hands. With an insistent tug, the other boy got to his feet, half-wondering what Soujiro was doing. He didn't really know what to say, especially in light of the thoughts he'd been having about his friend. So he didn't say anything at all.

Soujiro wondered what was going on inside Kamatari's head. The boy was obviously miserable, but wasn't going to share his misery. Somehow, Soujiro wanted to know; he wanted to make it better. He didn't like to see Kamatari so unhappy, not in the least. It seemed to get to him, too, as much as anything could.

So he thought for a moment about what others had done when he was unhappy. His thoughts immediately went to the day he'd come for Kamatari; that day under the sakura trees. Kamatari had...

Kamatari had kissed him. And he'd felt much better than he had before.

Smiling brightly at the pink-haired boy, Soujiro did the same. It was rather awkward for him. He'd never kissed anyone in his life, and based his on what he'd seen and felt.

Needless to say, Kamatari was shocked. At first, he just stood there numbly, wondering what in the worlds Soujiro was doing. His second thought, however, overrode the momentary dumbness; he felt Soujiro began to pull away, and threw all caution to the wind. He let out a small breath of relief, then threw himself forward, capturing Soujiro's slender body in his arms, kissing him back desperately.

He felt Soujiro's surprise and embraced it as well, assuring him silently that it was all right. Gently, he opened the other boy's mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss.

Soujiro started, reflexively jerking away, though not out of Kamatari's hold. "Kamatari?" He questioned quietly, shadowed eyes full of puzzlement. "What was that?"

Kamatari arched a brow, realizing that it wasn't upset in Soujiro's voice, but simple question. He's probably never even... With a nervous giggle, he brought a hand up to stroke his friend's smooth cheek. "A kiss, Souji."

"But I thought...the last time..." Soujiro didn't pull away from Kamatari's hand.

Kamatari's distress had seemed to melt as he looked at Soujiro. He smiled softly at the other, willing away any confusion. "You've never really been kissed, have you?"

Soujiro shook his head, and his smile didn't falter in the least.

With a small sigh, Kamatari looked directly into Soujiro's dark eyes. "Can I show you?" There was a momentary pause where Kamatari thought that he might say no, but then the boy nodded.

"Close your eyes," Kamatari instructed, and watched quietly as Soujiro complied. Then, gently, he took the boy's face between his cupped palms, tilting his head to the side and pressing their mouths together in a single slow movement.

The dark-haired boy's lips were soft and sweet. Kamatari breathed a small sigh of pleasure as he gently parted Soujiro's lips, this time receiving nothing but acceptance and compliance in response. His tongue slid deeper into the other's mouth, caressing the moist warmth inside, assuring him with gentle touches when he'd pull away.

Hesitantly, as if taking some sort of test, Soujiro began to respond, kissing Kamatari back. As he learned the way of it, his kiss became more aggressive, matching the intensity of his fast-beating heart. For an entire minute they continued their intimate play, before Kamatari finally pulled away.

The pink-haired boy rested his forehead against Soujiro's, nose to nose as he smiled. "Was it so bad?"

It took Soujiro a moment or two to make some sort of response--his breathing, however, gave it all away. With a smile, the tenken shook his head. Then he chuckled.

"Wha---t?" Kamatari groaned, resting his arms comfortably on Soujiro's shoulders, making no effort whatsoever to pull away and delighting in the fact that Soujiro wasn't either.

"It felt weird, Kamatari-san."

Kamatari just laughed.

[end part 1]

part 2